Well we have survived another season of Girl Scout Cookies. How many did you eat?
Did you notice that the Girl Scouts, during this year's cookie season, were a little more aggressive than in the past?
made one of my weekly visits to the grocery store two weeks ago, and
there they were, out front, hocking cookies. Usually I give them a
polite smile and decline a box, but this year they made it tough. They
were surrounding people, holding up boxes, trying to get in people's
faces. Like the way your cat weaves around your ankles when it wants
food while you're trying to carry a laundry basket to the garage. I
managed to avoid them by sneaking behind a slow-moving old lady who was
no match for the youngsters, but on the way out they got me. They got
"Want to support our group?" said one of
them, a blonde with very long hair. She cut me off to ask the question. I
kept going forward and she moved backward and continued to give me the
hard sell. "We have Samoas and Do-See-Dos and Thin Mints and--" and we
reached the parking lot and the SUV hit her. (Not really.) Her mother
yelled for her to come back, and she forgot about me and returned to the
table, where I immediately heard her say so another person, "Want to
support our group?"
A similar scene occurred at two
other stores where I shop. It reached the point where I was so terrified
of the little hooligans that I didn't dare do any shopping anywhere
until after five when they'd be at home. And I kept the blinds closed
and the deadbolt locked just in case they tracked me to my place prior
to five o'clock.
Did they all take a Tony Robbins
class? Or maybe they learned how to sell by watching a bunch of coked-up
car salesman (not that I know anything about that). Don't those darn
cookies sell themselves? In the Obama Economy, perhaps not.
Anyway today's shopping excursion was mercifully Girl Scout free. I will not have to face them again until next year.
ABOUT: Brian Drake is the author of The Rogue Gentleman and co-host of "Drake & The Deacon" on RadioSlot.Com.