MY MOTHER---

 

MY MOTHER----

My mother was 17 years old when I was born. By the time I was old enough to leave home, she was 39, so I never got much of a chance to really get to know and possibly appreciate who she was. We differed about many things over her lifetime. Politics for one. I tend to vote for the person I thought could do the best job. She voted for the candidate with the best hair. Therefore, Kennedy got her vote over Nixon, who she thought looked ‘sneaky’,

Our most argued issues were over how to raise children. Since I was an only child, she only had me to deal with for experience. We have 4 boys, which creates a different situation altogether. I don’t think she actually wanted to be a mother in the first place. Hence, I am an only child, or perhaps she was afraid she would get another one like me. Why knows? I never got a chance to find out.

I once asked her that if you had 1 child, how much love could you give them? She replied 100%. I then asked if you had 2 children and she replied 50% each. Since we have 4, she thought we were only capable of giving each 25%. I tried to explain that love multiplies, not divides and therefore we had 400% of love to give. She could never seem to grasp this concept.

But it’s true, isn’t it? As a parent, you are only as happy as your saddest child.

You cheer for their successes and weep for their heartaches your entire life.

My children are all grown men, some approaching social security age, but they are still my boys no matter how old they become. I worry for them when they are traveling or away from their homes. I am concerned when they are sick or having an operation.

It’s what you do. It comes with the territory and you never grow out of it.

I am not nor have I been a perfect father. I think I did the best that I could based upon the life experiences that I had to work with. There isn’t (to my knowledge) a book that someone wrote to tell me how to react to situations that arise at this point in my life. Someone once said that ‘today is the first day for the rest of your life’. They were right, on one hand you know your children are fully grown and you can’t fix or change anything about their personal situations at this time of their lives. For one thing, they don’t want you to do so.

But it still is an ingrained virtue of being a parent to desire only the best for them at the cost of every part of your being. What parent wouldn’t throw themselves in front of a speeding bus in order to shove their child out of the way?

I cannot take credit for any of my sons’ successes, nor will I accept guilt for their failures. They had theirs and I had mine.

I just need to go into this new year with the idea in mind that life is full of peaks and valleys that change from day to day.

I just must learn to be more patient and accept what I’m given. No matter what.

See you next week…Peary Perry