HELP!!! I'VE FALLEN AND CAN'T GET ______?

 

HELP!!!  I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET______?

 

Well, we all know the missing word here, don’t we?

Life for us is a never-ending mystery, we kind of wake up in a new world each day now that I have retired.

For one thing, I find it very hard to relax and just take a nap. I feel guilty and absolutely refuse to get under the covers during the day.

The two of us have had to adjust to being around each other 24/7. For those of you who haven’t done it, it is harder than it sounds. She has or had a schedule and so did I which has now been thrown to the four winds. Even the dog is confused because we are all here all of the time. I am constantly looking for things to do, but when you live in a brand new house, there isn’t anything that is broken or needs fixing.

I can only mow the yard so many times a week. It just doesn’t grow fast enough.

So, we have taken up walking to get back into shape and improve our health. We mapped out a course and are hitting our marks five times a week, come rain or shine.

This simple task has produced new challenges for us elderly people. We live in the country; I mean in the real county. We may see one or two cars or trucks in our hour-long preamble but not enough to count on in case of emergency, for one thing I have had both knees replaced. In case you didn’t know once you have your knees totally replaced you cannot ever kneel down like you did with your real knees. They just don’t bend the same way. My doctor told me they have to warn folks who kneel to pray, won’t happen again after they are replaced.

This poses an issue if I stumble and fall down. As it stands now, if I get on the floor for something (I try not to do so) I must crawl to a chair or something to work my way back to a standing position. Not a pretty sight. Out on a country road this could be an issue. Secondly neither of us can hear very well, so if one of us falls down and is behind the other of us, then one of us can be on down the road for a piece before someone is discovered missing. Then we have to ramble (we are mostly rambling, not power walking, definitely not running or jogging) back to the scene of the crime to determine the next course of action.

Thank God for cell phones, and fire departments. I hope they have a winch of some kind to remove me to a vertical position. Otherwise I’ll just have to lay out here in a ditch until the trash guys come by on Tuesdays, these guys are big and strong and can get me back up without any problem.

Anyway, I started Googling ‘how to help the elderly’ and I suggest you don’t do this unless you are a person who wallows in abject misery. It will depress you deeply. take my word for it, exercise daily, eat right, don’t ruin your knees and try to live with someone who has good hearing.

See you next week…Peary Perry