LT.ZORN REPORTS...

 

LT. ZORN REPORTS ….

 

To: Colonel Xerk, Planet Agent Assignment Commander, section4N

Report: Oct, 2016 (Earth time0

Translation code: use Lp#6759

Colonel…as you are aware I have been exiled to this forsaken planet for many years. I feel certain my exile was due to my perceived insult to the Supreme Commanders wife at the annual Galactic Star Ball. Obviously, I cannot recall my statement about the width of her posterior, but it was said as a jest and not intended to be overheard, unfortunately the music stopped just as I whispered the comment. Please convey my apologies to her, again.

As this part of the planet where I am marooned is going into what they refer to as ‘the election cycle’, I thought I would report on the complete madness of these so-called ‘humans’.

To me, none of this makes any sense to me at all. Apparently, it is perfectly acceptable for each and everyone of the persons vying for political office (they are called ‘candidates’) to lie about virtually everything without impunity. The process is called ‘an election’ and these elections are held at all levels of authority in what is called, ‘the government’.

Each and every ‘candidate’ will stand up in a crowd of humans either in person or on their various means of communication and boldly proclaim the following:

If elected, I will:

Reduce crime

Reduce taxes

Spend more money on social programs (this is conflicting with item #2)

Eliminate poverty

Clean up the environment

Stop illegal immigration

Allow foreign people to enter the country

Free medical care for everyone

Reduce excessive profits on businesses

Because we live in a different type of society, it is very confusing for me to understand just how the so-called government actually generates any method of revenue production to actually pay for all of these objectives. I have found that the ‘government’ actually functions as a result of its collection of these ‘taxes’ which are produced by entities known as companies or corporations as well as the citizens themselves. These entities produce products or services for which they receive currency and then are required to send part of their currency earnings to the ‘government’ so they can pay for services and benefits to the members of the society who do not choose to work and earn currency.

I am certain there is a hidden agenda to this concept as it would appear to me that at some point in time all of these citizens would choose to stop working and just be provided for by the ‘government’, who cannot actually generate any of the so-called currency necessary to complete this task.

Since my assignment here some 25 Earth years ago, I have been attempting to discover their hidden secret and just how it works. These humans must be smarter than we have imagined, otherwise they could very easily see for themselves just how unstable their entire plan is and how it is doomed to complete failure within a relative short period of time. They must know more than we think they know. We should not underestimate these beings.

As much as it pains me to say this, I would request to stay here for some additional time before you reassign me to some other black hole in the universe. I would like to observe how these ‘earthlings’ extricate themselves from this potential financial and economic disaster.

I think we should hold off on the proposed invasion of this species until I obtain more information on their secret plan.

These beings must be much smarter than we are giving them credit at this time. Any physical being that can stand up and distort the truth and reality over their means of communication (television, radio, internet, publications) to literally millions of their citizens and still get elected as their authorized leaders must have some nefarious, evil agenda that we cannot conceive of at this time.

We should not rush to judgement on these beings even though they appear to be frail and often silly in their appearances.

Therefore, I shall remain at my assigned post until I have more information to report to you.

Please give my regards to your family and please try again to express my apologies to the Supreme Commander’s wife once more.

Respectfully, your humble and obedient servant,

Lt. Zorn, (agent W4599)