Monday, July 29

Liberal Women are the Best!

I need to find a nice liberal girl to marry. That way, when I cheat (because I'm nailin' anything on two feet and in wheel chairs or on crutches!) she'll smile coyly and still stand to the left and slightly behind me like a good wife should.

Heck, it works for Anthony and Huma, right?

I don't understand liberal women. Why they are so willing to stay with philandering husbands goes beyond any social comprehension I have attained in my 37 years. From Jackie to Hilary to Huma and beyond, liberal women keep a stiff upper lip while their husbands screw around.

Can you imagine if Todd cheated on Sarah? I have a feeling Mr. Palin would become the unfortunate victim of a snow machine accident.

In my social circle, if you ask a women what she would do if her husband/boyfriend/miscellaneous were to cheat, you will get a diatribe full of violent descriptions of decapitations, mutilations, and other forms of bloody mayhem. However, based on what we see on TV, and knowing way too many lefties, I have a feeling that the sharpened knives will remain in their drawers and unused for any of the described mutilations. These women, while claiming they will defend their honor, will slink back into their corner because that's, apparently, what women do. For the kids, of course. Because he's going to be better, right?

And I don't understand that.

I guess the difference between Jackie, Hilary, and Huma and the average woman is that they have something to lose. If they string up their husbands (except in Jackie's case.....oh, never mind) they miss out on whatever political fortunes they are compiling. At least that's what the common wisdom is, and perhaps it is correct. Certainly in Hilary's case it is. A woman divorced from the president wouldn't go as far--I think. I suppose. But I'm really not sure. I think the women in these cases are weak and unable to stand up and/or take care of themselves, thus defeating the alleged purpose of modern feminism. In other words, back in the '60s they made a bunch of noise and burned a ton of bras just so they could bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and stand by and smile while their man humiliates them on national television.

So, when you look at Huma and Hilary, and when you think of Jackie (because thinking of Jackie is something liberal women do quite often) you can give them a high five and say, "You've come a long way, baby!"

ABOUT: Brian Drake is a California conservative and the author of The Rogue Gentleman, now available in paperback from

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